Chapter 40: Trump, Gaslighting, and the Narcissistic Culture of Politics — from The United States of Disconnection
This book is both a love letter and a warning. A love letter to those who still believe empathy belongs at the center of public life. And a warning, because the very tactics that wound families are now governing nations.
In Chapter 40, Trump, Gaslighting, and the Narcissistic Culture of Politics, I write about what happens when the playbook of narcissistic abuse—gaslighting, projection, blame-shifting, and loyalty tests—moves from private homes to the Oval Office.
I did not write this lightly. Speaking openly about the psychological dangers of leadership has been met with censorship and professional risk. But silence in the face of systemic abuse is complicity.
This chapter was written with urgency. It is not only about Trump as an individual. It is about what America learned to normalize under his leadership—and what Project 2025 threatens to codify permanently.
My next book, The United States of Reconnection, will show us a path back to empathy, repair, and trust. But before we can heal, we must name the disconnection clearly. This chapter does just that.
Chapter 40 Summary
Narcissistic abuse always begins the same way: with distortion. The abuser tells you not to trust your memory, your instincts, or your truth. In relationships, this is called gaslighting. In politics, it becomes propaganda.
In this chapter, Darren Elliott highlights how Donald Trump weaponized classic narcissistic tactics:
Gaslighting: denying observable reality.
Projection: accusing opponents of the very corruption he embodied.
Punishment: devaluing anyone who refused absolute loyalty.
Fear-mongering: selling terror as policy.
“When a president says, ‘What you’re seeing is not what’s happening,’ that’s not politics. That’s abuse.”
The danger, Elliott argues, is not just Trump himself but the narcissistic culture that elevated him. Project 2025 takes these patterns further, embedding them into governance—rewarding dominance while punishing empathy.
Drawing on voices like psychiatrist Bandy X. Lee and cult expert Stephen Hassan, Elliott insists we must treat political gaslighting with the same seriousness as domestic abuse. If we wouldn’t accept it in our families, why would we normalize it in our democracy?
This chapter ends with a challenge: America must wake up to the reality of abuse at scale—or risk confusing cruelty with strength forever.
Closing Invitation
We are not powerless. The first step is recognizing the abuse for what it is. The next is choosing connection over fear.
Here’s how you can take action today:
Download free Love Loops™ guides at LoveLoops.Love.
Visit USofD.org for more info or to purchase the book.
Start a neighbourhood or family reading circle—healing spreads fastest in community.
Ask your library or bookseller to order the book using these ISBNs:
Hardcover: 979-8-218-36690-3
Paperback: 979-8-218-36691-0
Ebook: 979-8-218-36692-7
Let this be the bottom. Wake up to what is happening so that change is possible. Join us today.
