Chapter 34: When the President Is a Narcissist — from The United States of Disconnection
This book was written as both a love letter and a warning. A love letter to every person who has felt the cost of disconnection—those who want to live with dignity, empathy, and real community. And a warning, because the patterns of narcissistic abuse that destroy families are now tearing apart entire nations.
Chapter 34, When the President Is a Narcissist, takes us into the heart of that danger. It speaks to what happens when a culture already struggling with fear and division elects a leader who thrives on those very wounds.
I wrote this chapter even knowing it could raise controversy and resistance. Some would prefer silence. But silence in the face of abuse is complicity.
This is not just about politics—it’s about psychology. About what happens when gaslighting, blame-shifting, and emotional immaturity are rewarded at the highest level of power. And about why we must reclaim our collective empathy before disconnection becomes permanent.
The next book, The United States of Reconnection, will show us the way forward. But first, we must tell the truth about where we are.
Chapter 34 Summary
What does it mean for a nation when its president mirrors the same traits as an abusive partner or parent?
In this chapter, I name the patterns that millions recognized in Donald Trump: constant gaslighting, punishing those who refuse blind loyalty, and selling fear as a way to control. These are not quirks of personality. They are the markers of narcissistic abuse—scaled to the level of national policy.
Project 2025 is the chilling outcome of that mindset. A political playbook built on punishment, dominance, and disconnection. It isn’t about leadership. It’s about control.
As psychiatrist Bandy X. Lee and cult expert Stephen Hassan argue, leaders should be subject to the same psychological fitness assessments required of soldiers or judges. If one man can destabilize reality itself, we must ask: what protections exist for democracy?
“If narcissistic abuse confuses one person’s sense of reality, imagine what it does to a nation.”
The chapter challenges us to stop romanticizing strongmen and start reclaiming the strength of empathy. Because the real measure of leadership isn’t dominance—it’s connection.
Closing Invitation
We are living through a collective trauma. But we are not powerless. Naming the problem is the first step in healing.
Here’s how you can be part of the movement:
Download free Love Loops™ guides at LoveLoops.Love.
Visit USofD.org for more info or to purchase the book.
Start a neighbourhood or family reading circle—healing spreads in community.
Ask your library or bookseller to order the book using these ISBNs:
Hardcover: 979-8-218-36690-3
Paperback: 979-8-218-36691-0
Ebook: 979-8-218-36692-7
Let this be the bottom. Wake up to what is happening so that change is possible. Join us today.
