Chapter 2: We All Have Some Narcissism

It’s easy to label others as narcissists. It’s harder to admit that all of us carry fragments of that same wound.

In We All Have Some Narcissism, Darren Elliott reframes narcissism as an emotional adaptation — not just a diagnosis. We all develop defenses to survive pain and shame. The danger comes when those defenses become our identity.

This chapter invites radical honesty. Instead of “us vs. them,” Elliott suggests a deeper question: Where have I lost my capacity for empathy?

Chapter Summary

  • Narcissism as a spectrum: everyone has protective layers that distance them from pain.

  • The healthy self: self-worth grounded in connection, not comparison.

  • The wounded self: the need to be right, special, or untouchable as a way to avoid shame.

“Healing narcissism isn’t about defeating ego — it’s about befriending it.”

By naming our shared vulnerability, we begin to dismantle the shame that fuels narcissistic culture. Compassion — for ourselves and others — becomes the true cure.

Closing Invitation

The mirror doesn’t have to terrify us. When we face it with love, it reflects truth instead of fear.

  1. Download free Love Loops™ guides at https://loveloops.love

  2. Visit https://www.thenarcissismrecoveryproject.com/usofd

  3. Order the book:

    • Hardcover: 979-8-218-36690-3

    • Paperback: 979-8-218-36691-0

    • Ebook: 979-8-218-36692-7

Let this be the bottom. Wake up to what is happening so that change is possible. Join us today.

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Chapter 3: Emotional Immaturity at the Core

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Chapter 44: For Coaches and Therapists