💚 LOVE LOOPS™ FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE GUIDE

Connection Is the Cure

A Free Community Resource from The Narcissism Recovery Project™ — currently hosted on LoveLoops.love and CoachingForHumans.org

1 · Introduction – Why We Need Each Other

Humans are pack animals.
We’re meant to lean on one another — not because we’re weak, but because that’s how we survive and thrive.

Modern life has pulled us apart. We work longer, rest less, and stare at screens instead of faces. North Americans average nearly 1,800 work hours per year, far more than many nations, and half of adults in both the U.S. and Canada report feeling lonely “often.”

Loneliness increases the risk of premature death, depression, anxiety, and heart disease. The Harvard Study of Adult Development — the longest study on happiness in history — found that good relationships are the number one predictor of health and wellbeing.

In other words:
Connection isn’t optional. It’s survival.

Love Loops™ Friendship Circles are a simple, local way to rebuild what disconnection has stolen — trust, laughter, safety, and belonging.

2 · The Overwork & Isolation Crisis

North Americans are spending more time working and less time living.
We chase productivity but lose our pack.
Without connection, even success feels empty.

Our system praises individualism — but we are communal creatures by design.
When we share our burdens, something ancient and healing happens: we feel human again.

3 · What Love Loops™ Friendship Circles Are

A Friendship Circle is a small, recurring gathering of humans practicing empathy, kindness, and curiosity.
It’s not therapy, religion, or activism — though it may heal, uplift, and inspire action.

You can meet weekly, biweekly, or monthly.
In a coffee shop, on a rooftop, at a park bench, in a community center, or online.
The goal isn’t perfection. It’s presence.

Motto:

“Better to gather imperfectly than to stay isolated perfectly.”

4 · How to Start Your Own Circle

1️⃣ Start small. One or two people is enough.
2️⃣ Choose a space. Kitchen table, park, condo rooftop, café, or library.
3️⃣ Pick a time. Consistency builds safety.
4️⃣ Invite warmly.

“Hey neighbor — a few of us are starting a Friendship Circle to share stories and build connection. Bring yourself (and maybe a snack or tea to share). Everyone welcome.”
5️⃣ Begin simple.
“What’s something kind someone did for you this week?”

5 · Rules of Conduct & Inclusion

To make circles safe and kind:

• Confidentiality: What’s shared here stays here.

• Equal Voice: Everyone gets a turn; use a timer if needed.

• Listening over Fixing: We don’t give advice unless asked.

• Respect: Speak from the “I.” Avoid debates or diagnosing.

• Consent: No photos or touching without permission.

• Inclusivity: All genders, sexualities, faiths, and backgrounds welcome.

• Accessibility: Choose physically and emotionally inclusive spaces.

If intense emotions arise, pause with compassion and encourage professional support. Circles are for care, not crisis.

6 · Sharing the Real — Not Just the Happy

Love Loops™ Circles welcome all emotions.
It’s okay to talk about what’s hard — losing your job, rent stress, burnout, food insecurity, grief.

Pretending we’re fine keeps us isolated.
Honesty creates connection.

Try watching Brené Brown’s Power of Vulnerability (TED Talk) or The Call to Courage (Netflix) as a group.
Discuss:

• “What does vulnerability mean to me?”

• “How can we make honesty safe here?”

• “What does courage look like in friendship?”

“Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome.”
— Brené Brown

7 · Conversation Prompts

• What made you smile this week?

• What’s weighing on you lately?

• When do you feel most connected to others?

• What helps you feel safe?

• What’s one fear you can replace with curiosity this month?

• What’s a small act of kindness you can try this week?

If the group grows, break into pairs for 5-minute shares, then regroup to reflect.

Active Listening Practice:
1️⃣ Listen without interrupting.
2️⃣ Reflect what you heard (“It sounds like…”).
3️⃣ Validate (“That makes sense you’d feel that way.”).
4️⃣ Thank them for sharing.

8 · Activities to Build Connection

• Group walks — “Meet at ___ subway entrance to explore a neighborhood.”

• Coffee chats or dessert potlucks (see Potluck Guide).

• Volunteer together.

• Share meals using the Food Sharing Guide.

• Story circles, art nights, gratitude journals.

• Host “help exchanges” — child-minding, errands, or rides.

End every meeting with gratitude:

“Something I appreciated tonight is…”

9 · Hosting with Grace (Not Perfection)

Hosting is love, not obligation.
You don’t need a big house or perfect snacks.

If you can boil water, you can host.
If your space is small, that’s fine — cozy helps connection.

Budget-Friendly Hosting Ideas:

• Offer tea, water, or coffee.

• Make a $2 brownie mix or dollar-store cookies.

• Use a premade cookie dough tube — it’s the love that counts.

• Invite others to bring something simple:

  “I’ll make tea if you bring a snack!”

Potluck magic:
Like the bread and fishes — everyone brings what they can, and somehow there’s always enough.

If you can’t host, that’s okay.
Show up. Listen. Offer to bring napkins.
Presence is the gift.

For food insecurity, refer to the Love Loops™ Food Sharing Guide.

10 · Bridging the “Us vs. Them” Culture

We’ve been gaslit into fearing each other.
Billionaires, nationalists, and disinformation networks thrive on division.
But when we meet face to face, fear dissolves.

Friendship is exposure therapy for the human heart.
Meet your Muslim, trans, immigrant, conservative, or atheist neighbor — and realize they’re just people trying to live.

Every circle you create replaces a fear loop with a love loop.

“Yes, even your trans neighbor.”
The more rejected and traumatized people become, the more pain they carry.
The solution isn’t exclusion — it’s compassion.

11 · Doreen Devine’s Note – “Fear Isn’t Real, It’s Taught.”

“Sweethearts, fear isn’t natural — it’s taught, sold, and televised.
The system profits when we panic.
But sit down with someone you’ve been told to fear, and fear evaporates faster than cheap lipstick under stage lights.

Love Loops™ are exposure therapy for the soul.
They remind us: the opposite of narcissism isn’t weakness — it’s community.”
— Doreen Devine, recovering narcissist drag queen and professional hug-in-heels.

12 · Common Challenges & Gentle Solutions

• Dominating voice: “Let’s make sure everyone has a turn.”

• Oversharing trauma: “Thank you for trusting us. Do you have support beyond here?”

• Conflict: Return to curiosity.

• Low attendance: Keep showing up; safety builds slowly.

• Emotional heaviness: Alternate between serious and fun meetings.

13 · The Meetup Integration – Coaching for Humans™ Circles

To expand this movement, we’re partnering with CoachingForHumans.org and the Meetup platform to create Friendship Circle “Meta-Groups” — gatherings of those hosting or considering hosting their own circles.

Purpose:

• Share stories of what’s working.

• Swap ideas for activities and inclusivity.

• Develop the top 15 relational traits of emotionally mature humans (curiosity, patience, empathy, accountability, flexibility, humility, forgiveness, etc.).

• Support each other’s growth and community impact.

Each Meetup meeting becomes both:

• a Friendship Circle in itself, and

• a “training circle” for creating new ones.

Together, we amplify belonging at scale — one ripple becomes a wave.

14 · Love Loops Press — Books for Recovering Humans

✨ Visit Love Loops Press – Books for Recovering Humans

In 2025, we are all recovering humans — trying to heal from a traumatized world that taught us fear, disconnection, and self-protection.
Love Loops Press publishes books, workbooks, and free guides to help us rebuild connection, compassion, and courage — one Love Loop™ at a time.

Available Now:
📘 The United States of Disconnection — a compassionate look at how narcissistic power divides homes, politics, and culture — and how we can come back together.
Visit TheUSofD.com or ask for it at your local bookstore (available through IngramSpark).

Coming Soon:
🌱 Wake Up Guides — free, pocket-sized companions to reconnect with freedom, belonging, and self-compassion.
💫 Project 2035 — a global initiative at Project2035.net envisioning emotionally intelligent cultures by 2035.
💞 The Emotional Growth Guides for Recovering Humans — available soon at RecoveringHumans.com, including:

• The 365-Day Emotional Growth Journey

• Weekly Companions

• Therapist and Coach Editions
  📚 Start Your Own Book Club — free guide for groups of 2 or 20.

Join the Ecosystem:

• LoveLoops.love — free connection resources.

• CoachingForHumans.org — facilitator tools.

• FriendsOfDoreen.com — mental health and satire.

• Project2035.net — global collaboration.

• RecoveringHumans.com — emotional growth workbooks.

Every piece is a loop in the same circle — reconnecting us to love, truth, and each other.

15 · Appendix & Resources

Printable Tools:

• Friendship Circle Invitation Template

• Love Loops™ Potluck Guide

• Love Loops™ Food Sharing Program

• Love Loops™ Emotional Growth Guides

• Love Loops™ Relationship Worksheets

• The United States of Disconnection

• The United States of Reconnection (in progress)

Disclaimer:
Friendship Circles are for mutual care, not crisis intervention.
If you or someone you know needs help, reach out to a licensed therapist or crisis line.

16 · Closing Message

We don’t heal alone.
We heal together — one Love Loop™ at a time.

“Lean on me, so I know I can lean on you.”
— Darren Elliott, Founder of The Narcissism Recovery Project™ and Love Loops™